This week was a bliss filled week for our household….vacation week!! Rarely are we all together for any amount of time, let alone an entire week. I was nervous at first…how long could we all stand to be together without total meltdowns, but I am happy to say, that it is the end of our vacation and we are all dreading the thought of going back to “normal” tomorrow. Yes…total bliss this week.
Anyone who has followed our family for any amount of time knows that The Wild One and I have had our ups and downs. And while the last year has been really good…only a few typical Wild One moments thrown in for good measure…I have been a little nervous about whether we were actually over the bad years, or if they were just lying dormant for a season. Well, being together this week, I have been able to see the promise of a new day! Early in the week, I decided that I was going to learn to sew. It’s a skill that I have always wished I had – so, with the gift of a hand me down sewing machine and some time….it was going to happen now. My mom and I read instructions, threaded needles (then re-threaded needles the correct way), and low and behold – pillows were made!! And then, because I constantly feel the need to overachieve, I felt like I should be able to make a dress. No problem, right…I had just sewn 4 straight lines….what’s in a dress?? The Wild One had picked out some adorable fabric when we were prepping for sewing day, so I cut out 2 pieces and decided to make her a shift dress. And darn it, if it didn’t actually work! Now Vera Bradley doesn’t have to start shaking in her shoes or anything just yet. My seams are a little uneven, the neckline may be slightly crooked, but The Wild One can wear it….and wear it she has! I even made a matching headband(I know, sometimes I can’t even stand myself). Now, what is the beauty of this little dress you may ask? Well, let me tell you….she has wanted to wear that dress everywhere. And since it is an adorable fabric, and with a matching headband, little ladies all over have stopped her to tell her how cute her dress is. And every time, she looks up with such pride and says “my mommy made it for me!”. She just can’t wait to tell people that I made it for her…and while I have worried slightly that this admission may make these ladies look a little more closely at the seams, I can’t tell you how much this has meant. She is actually proud of me! This is a big deal in our little world. My mom mojo is back, and it feels so good!
What has amazed me the most about this little dress, is that I didn’t even realize how much I needed her approval, her pride, her love. I have lived on eggshells for so long – just knowing that I had screwed up this whole motherhood thing with her, that this week has just given me a renewed love of being a mother. Isn’t it an amazing thing – this Mommy stuff – in no other avenue of life do we let someone else determine our happiness, but our kids – from the moment they are conceived – control our entire worlds with every word, gesture, and expression. And it isn’t just a certain “type” of mother that gets to feel this way. During a trip to a local amusement park during this week, I witnessed first hand all of the “mommy love” out there. It didn’t matter if the family was Asian, Latino, Black, White, Multi-cultured, poor, wealthy, hipster, rocker, tattooed, or none of the above….when the little kids got off of a ride their faces were lit up running to their mommies, and the mommies were so excited to see them and hear about how much fun they had. You didn’t need to speak the same language to know what was being expressed in their conversations…..motherhood really is the true international language of love.