In the Middle

Happy New Year!  I am still in shock that yet another year has descended upon us! You know by now my hatred of resolutions, yet am succumbed by the ever present need to make goals and resolve to, well, maybe stick to them!  This year is no different, but as the tone of my recent blogs(ok, not too recent!) my goals are not more, but of less.  I am tired of being tired, tired of doing too much, trying to be too much, and expecting too much of those around me! I just want to be able to find joy in everything…that’s my goal! Joy! This goal took me to realize that I have no f-ing idea what “joy” really looks like! Maybe some happy here and there, some laughter and good times, but Joy? I always think of angels singing, a light following you around as you walk, a permanent smile on your face, and hugging everyone around you! Well hugging is just creepy in my opinion – just ask my friends…they lean in for a hug and pure terror grips me!  I don’t know where this came from, but affection is not my strong suit. So where does Joy come in to the life of someone affection allergic like me?

Well, leave it to The Wild One to answer that question! Was there ever any doubt. This little chick of mine can, and will rule the world one day…she may have to beat up a few people, myself included, but there is not doubt she will do it!  She asked me how old I was one day, about 2 weeks ago and my response was “old”. 

                             “No mommy, really how old are you?”


                             “Well, you are older than me, but younger than mom-mom. So, you are in the middle!” And what is the best part of a                                cookie?”

                             “The middle?” I responded

                             “Yes! And what is the best part of a ham and cheese sandwich?” She coached

                             “Yup, so mommy you are the best part…the middle!”

Needless to say, this mommy had no problem with affection at that very moment!  And I have to tell you that I felt what joy really feels like. The Wild One and I have had a roller coaster this year, but for her to be able to turn that around, feel what I felt, and make me happy…well, JOY, that’s all I can say! And I do love being in the middle!



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