Help a Mutha’ Out!

Today, I have lost the one reason that I still clutched to that having children was the right thing to do….I can no longer convince my kids to work! Now, The Teenager, he has been a lost cause for a while now, but I thought I still had a few years left with The Wild One. So, let me start at the beginning….
I have finally been able to convince my husband that it is time to strip the horrible wallpaper from our bedroom. We are currently renting our house and he was adamant that we would not strip all of the horrible wallpaper until we purchased the house. But, after making the final decision this week to move forward with the purchase of this house, the wallpaper is coming down! So, for two days, The Husband and I(mostly The Husband) have been working on the wallpaper, and the wallpaper has been working on our nerves. Any of you out there that LOVE wallpaper, I need to warn you…I am single handedly launching a campaign against the use of wallpaper.  I swear that the only people who use it must be those who KNOW they won’t be staying in their houses long after putting it up….because anyone who has ever removed wallpaper vows to never put it up! Anyway…back to the story….after the local Fall Festival, The Wild One wanted my NephewNic to come over to play…..he doesn’t need a nickname, because I always just call him NephewNic (all one word), so it works for us. While the two of them are playing, AKA running around the house screaming, they wander into my bedroom where I am stripping wallpaper.  I think that this is it! I can get some serious man hours out of this…..showing them a place to start pulling, I convince them that yanking off strips of wallpaper is a seriously fun game.  They pulled one strip and were on to me! Now, The Wild One, didn’t surprise me, but I thought I could fool my 4 year old nephew for at least a half an hour.  I then said, in my best gansta voice….”come on, help a Mutha’ out”.  Deadpan.  Not only did they not get my joke, but they looked at one another, shrugged, and started to walk away. So then I decided to pull out the best parenting trick in the book…..bribery!  I told NephewNic that I would give him some candy if he helped me.  To which he responded, “Why”.  “Because I love you”, I said.  He pondered this for a moment, then replied…”well, you always love me and I already have candy”. Then ran out of the room.

So, minivan mamas, think hard before you feed the independent nature of your children….you will surely lose your workforce. And once that is gone, it’s just taking care of them, and stuff! And that is surely not what I signed on for with this parenting thing!




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