Ever have those moments(or days on end in my case) where you feel like there is so much to think about that you can’t even pick just one thing? Man! Boy, am I in one of those quandaries! (Big word alert – it’s probably misspelled but I am so impressed with myself for using it that I won’t even spell check it!) There is just so much going on in my brain that I am having a hard time focusing on any one thing. I literally feel like my brain is in overdrive! Ugh…now, I know how The Wild One feels all of the time! I should be more empathetic towards her behavior…but nah, she still just ticks me off sometimes! ADHD or not!
I am having this moment in time where it seems like I am the only one who can do anything! The husband is working crazy shifts so all of the kid schlepping is up to me, the groceries, the cleaning, the laundry, the figuring out daycare when our full time day care is closed(because I work crazy shifts too), figuring out how to get everyone where they need to be when I am not there….plus work! I am so exhausted, but my mind is on such overdrive that I can’t sleep. The Teenager has to get to camp Friday night, but I don’t know how that is going to happen yet, I cancelled my trainer tonight because I had to get the grocery shopping done sometime(I was out of town for work all weekend), the laundry is….well, I may be wearing dirty clothes to work tomorrow but they will just have to deal with it(hopefully everyone will be too polite to mention….or too scared to say anything with the crazed look in my eyes).
I was listening to one of Joel Osteen’s sermons on living in peace the other day in the car. It was wonderful and just what I needed. Basically, he was saying to not the storms of the outside get inside. By giving your worries to God, you can trust that you are right where you need to be, when you need to be there. I try so hard to do that, but there are those times, like right now, that I feel like I don’t know how to “Give it to God”. I have prayed about it and literally banged my head against the wall to get the thoughts and worry out….but it’s all still there. Am I such a control freak that even when I KNOW that I can’t control everything and the best thing for me is to lay my worries out to God, that I can’t even do that?!?!? Many of you who know me are saying…”Well, duh, yes!”
So, tonight, I am laying my worries down and asking for help! How do you “unplug” your thoughts? Is there a way for a control freak, like me, to really live in peace? Really, is there?!?