Losing my mind…to save hers

I don’t talk about this much on this site, but The Wild One has been diagnosed with ADHD. As with everything in life, I believed that I could control this, it would be no big deal…”tons of kids have ADHD, right?” Right. I knew that she was having some focus issues, self control issues, and of course – the non stop energy. We have always known that she was “wild” but thought it was just her independent streak. Then her schoolwork started to suffer…nothing bad, she still was getting great grades(or marks since 1st graders don’t get letter grades) but she wasn’t finishing work and getting questions wrong that she clearly knew the answer. So, in went a call to our pediatrician. We had already mentioned that we believed her to be “hyper” to which he only needs a second with her to agree – but after evaluation he gave us the diagnosis, ADHD. I have never had a problem or issue with ADHD medications and will always do whatever it takes to make sure that my kids are able to not only function, but thrive in life, so medication it is. We have been through a couple of different medications and dosing trials to get the right one – we were warned that it would take some time – and will continue to work on it until we get just the right combination.
One of the biggest issues we have with The Wild One is her rage. The hyperactivity we can handle – we are exhausted, but we can handle it, but the rage – it’s killing me! There are lots of kid with ADHD that also have other issues(co-morbidities). We happen to have gotten stuck with the one that makes me question my own sanity. The problem? Her ADHD keeps her from being able to express herself and she can’t suppress her emotions like most of us. So, her highs are super high and her lows are super low. Because she can’t suppress her emotions, one small “no” or “not now” will go from “no, you can’t have that 25 cent gumball” to “I hate you, you hate me, I wish I had never been born”(yup, it goes there) Along with the crazy words come the hitting, kicking, hair pulling…it’s pretty major. I have been researching and trying to understand the whole process, so that I can better help her. I have found some techniques that seem to work(keep your fingers crossed for me!) but it is definitely a process.
When this beautiful little girl is not the victim of her diagnosis, she is the most loveable and amusing kid on the planet. So, I guess the whole point today is to just give all parents a break. When you see a kid throwing a tantrum in the mall…it might not be a discipline issue and mom might be heading for a nervous breakdown. When a kid starts screaming and crying, don’t just think that they are a spoiled brat, but a victim of their own emotions. And when you see me out and I look like a crazed lunatic….I am – just realize that I have probably just had the battle of a lifetime with my 7 year old. But I am learning and will continue to do so, because life is all about these kids – and if yours isn’t, then you are not doing something right!

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4 thoughts on “Losing my mind…to save hers

  1. As the mother of an adult ADD/Dyslexia child, I feel your pain. Diagnosed in kindergarten…..I wish I could tell you it get’s better but it is a long hard fought battle. Don’t let this define you, her or your family, and those who judge are fighting their own battles trust me they get a moment of reprieve in other’s anguish. You will find that as she grows she will discover a passion that will consume some of her excess energy….which in turn will hopefully give you some much needed peace!

  2. My oldest is like this. Wild, rage, the whole nine yards. He’s twenty-one. He makes me exhausted frequently even now. My husband was officially diagnosed as ADHD as a child. My son was not. There is no doubt in my mind though that he would be. I can totally empathize.

  3. I feel your pain, highs and lows. Maybe we should sit down and talk medications some time! Luckily we have found the sweet spot..for now….but we know it is temporary!

  4. Just know you have won half the battle by admitting there is a problem and getting medication from a doctor you trust. You find what clicks and works for her and everything else will just work out. Nobody wants a “perfect child” anyway what’s the fun in that. Plus the word on the street is you have a pretty awesome family that will help with process some that may have walked a mile or two or three in the land of ADHD…Just saying no one is an expert because every child is different but I have no doubt you will master the ADHD like you do everything else it may just take a little more work than usual. Head up game face on take no prisoners …and don’t become a prisoner!!

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