Overthinker Alert!

Today, I am writing from a hotel room in Annapolis..it’s been a long day, starting at home, then Richmond, now Annapolis and I am exhausted. But as I usually am at the end of the day, I am trying to shut down my brain, so I am analyzing everything that happened today. What did I hear, see, smell, think? It’s a little bit crazy! (Saw a great quote today on Facebook…”Relax, we are all crazy, it’s not a competition!”, how funny is that!)  This morning on the ride to Richmond, the very long ride to Richmond, there was a CD in the car with snippets from different interviews with, what are thought of as, highly successful people.  I love to hear from all kinds of people how they got where they are in life.  The one thing that resonated with me on one very short interview was one question….”What does success look like to you?” Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I am in constant self help, self improvement mode, so I have heard this before but today it really stuck.  Success is different for everyone, yet we all seem to compare success to rich, well known, super busy, business types. Why is that? I’m sure it has something to do with media…aren’t all of our problems because of the media?!?! But really, what does success look like to you? Is it happiness, debt free, job that you love, well adjusted kids, big house? Yeah, yeah, yeah…we all want this stuff! It’s what we are supposed to want as adults. But how about success? It kind of goes back to the basic rule of goal setting….If you don’t know where you are going, you will never know when you get there. I think that this is why so many of us minivan moms feel like we are always spinning our wheels…working hard but never accomplishing much. Because we don’t know when the hell we are done!  What does being a success look like to you?  Is it wearing a suit and tie to work every day(now I’ve just realized that most of my readers are women, so this may not apply but you get the drift) is it owning several houses, cars, jewelry.  Why is success so driven by money and power?  I feel like a success in the morning when I have both kids in the car – dressed and not screaming at me….Is that success? I have no idea! That’s what is so perplexing about this question to me….I can’t answer it! I was also one of those people that could never answer the question….what do you want to be when you grow up? It changed yearly for me, well maybe monthly. Maybe that’s why this question is so hard.  I want to say that success to me is having happy, healthy, well adjusted kids who go on to their own success(that sounds very mom like, right?) But if I can’t define my own success, how are my kids going to be able to define theirs…and I feel like my kids will have enough of me in them to be screwed up enough, shouldn’t I give them something to work with! And is this how I would measure my own success, through my kids. I’ve got to tell you that I am too selfish for that to be the case.  What does success look like for you? Help me out here…..a certain position at work, owning your own business, money in the bank, owning a house, beating cancer, recording a music demo(there that one comes again for me!), losing 20 pounds(I almost laughed out loud on this one – but thank goodness I didn’t because I am sharing a room with my boss and she may realize that I really AM crazy!) .  There are so many definitions and your definition could change with your circumstances.  Maybe getting my kids in the car in the morning IS my success – for that moment anyway. Who cares if I am still in my pajamas! While I want to come up with my true definition of success, I feel like there is something else that we should take from this….we need to celebrate EVERY success! If we get so bogged down with the end result of success we will never be happy with the small ones. Allie brushed her teeth this morning – Success! Nathan actually acknowledged me in front of his friends – Success! Jamie didn’t throw a fit that I didn’t make the bed, again – Success!(I didn’t make the bed, he just didn’t have a fit) Try it tomorrow….what are the little things that you accomplished that are mini successes? Celebrate them. I guarantee that you will feel good, even if it is just for a second, that you really did get SOMETHING done today! Meanwhile, I will be here stressing over my end game success story…..and what the hell I want to be when I grow up!

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