Control Journal

I recently attended the first of the Ladies Night series at the winery(yes, I like it so much, I am there on my off time – much to my husband’s dismay).  This group we are forming is based on women, and only women. How we can balance work, family, life all while being extremely successful. Kind of a “how to make it happen” workshop style, with a little fun mixed in. Any way, while we were talking, one of the girls mentioned a website they follow where the woman suggests keeping a “Control Journal”. Well, Shut the Front Door! A journal all about being in control. This lady is talking my language! There are probably some people reading this going….”yep, that’s her”. And you are right! They say the first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem…..and baby, control is my addiction. I would love to say that I don’t know why, but that is bull hockey. I know why. And I know that there are a lot of women out there that feel the same way. It’s that damn Superwoman complex. I am afraid that if I can’t do it all, and I mean ALL, then that means that I am a failure.  So, instead of asking my husband for help, or making lists for the staff to complete – I try to get it all done myself. I keep feeling like I need to do it all myself, or I can rightfully take the credit when things go well. Problem is – I am already working on the next thing and can’t revel in any success!

So, here is the next little tidbit in my blog of the self reflection kind. Yes, I am really trying to be a better person and I think that the world of social medial will help me get there! I mean, I have to be accountable if I publish this to the world, or the three people that read it. I am going to give up some control. (insert lamaze breathing here) I am very fortunate to have a wonderful husband, and an amazing work staff who can get it done! I tried a little bit by reviewing my schedule for the next few months with my husband so that we can start of the same page. He literally looked at me like I had six heads. Even he, my biggest supporter, doesn’t believe that I can change. But, Superwoman will prevail! I will communicate better. I will push tasks that I don’t necessarily have to do myself to my wonderful support.  With this, hopefully I will give myself a bit of a break and stop to smell the roses(well, not the roses because I am allergic) but you catch my drift.  I will realize that my way is NOT the only way and be tolerant of other ideas(stay tuned for my next blog where I sob because no one does anything the way I want!)

Turns out the Control Journal is just an organizational tool anyway…but with a really cool name.

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One thought on “Control Journal

  1. As a recovering control freak I totally get this! It is a work in progress and a daily personal struggle to overcome the urge to do and control all. Sometimes I have to just breathe and take a second to let go. We are creatures of habit but I have come to realize that getting frustrated over the lack of responsibility of others has been self inflicted by me. How can anyone in my life learn any responsibility if I continue to do everything for them? What’s that saying “Necessity is the mother of invention” something like that. It’s a hard pill to swallow that our way is not the ONLY way. Day at a time girl…..a day at a time…..Who knows maybe this extra time we have when we are not multi-task -a-holics we can have some me time and not feel guilty about it.

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